All great relationships require constructive conflict and confrontation to grow and thrive. Influential leaders orchestrate the culture in which people can be energized, engaged, and fully aware of their meaningful contributions to the enterprise. Much of the personal and organizational benefits of such a culture can be negated if we avoid constructive conflict and confrontation.
Remember this – positive conflict avoidance is negative conflict guaranteed. If you do not want to endure the toxic aspects of negative conflict then you must have the courage to engage in positive confrontation and constructive conflict. Doing so reflects a truly enlightened leader and is evident in all high performing teams.
Three steps toward positive confrontation and constructive conflict are:
1. Reconnect with the purpose of the organization. The stated purpose of the organization, the “why” factor, is to be of service to the greatest number of people. Avoiding strategies that enable the purpose of an organization to be fulfilled (like constructive conflict and confrontation), invites not only disruptions but also harm. When you reconnect with the primary meaning and purpose of your work, you gain clarity, courage, conviction, and commitment. These ideals then drive you to pursue constructive conflict and confrontation, which help us make better decisions.
2. View conflict and confrontation as positive rather than negative. The key is to be intentional and deliberate. Generally, people’s mental model about conflict is set to “fight or flight” – that is, you run from it if you can not fight it. And when you stay to fight, you often (if not always) lose, so you choose not to be bothered at all. This mind-set prevents you from considering a third option: See conflict and confrontation as allies, not as enemies. When your mind regards conflict and confrontation as helpful, you change your emotional reaction and the emotional impact on all.
3. Get out of the way and let constructive conflict and confrontation do its job. According to Patrick Lencioni, the leader should enable his/her people to work out their own problems: “It is key that leaders demonstrate restraint when their people engage in confrontation, and allow resolution to occur naturally, as messy as it can get sometimes.” Kerry Patterson and colleagues suggest in their book ‘Crucial Confrontations’ that constructive confrontation is essential to organizational relationships, growth, and prosperity, particularly when it involves people who are at different levels (for example, a supervisor going head to head with a vice-president.)”
Learning the skill of Positive Presence and practicing the skill of Positive Presence will equip you with the necessary behaviour and thought habits to ensure you can successfully navigate even the most difficult conflict and confrontation.
Catherine is the President and CEO of CORPORATE HARMONY, providing virtual solutions for leadership development and organizational culture change. Her leadership and coaching experience as a Project Manager in an ever-changing, fast moving technological organization with unrelenting demands drove her to the realization that a positive mindset and strength-building behaviors are essential for today’s complex and chaotic organizational systems. CORPORATE HARMONY’s virtual platform of programs, coaching and performance measurement, is an innovative online technology of tested proprietary content. The world-class content of CORPORATE HARMONY’s Positive Presence Program develops the skill of ‘Positive Presence’ and the necessary ‘Positive Presence Behaviour Competencies’ for maintaining a positive and energized mindset and increased performance in today’s complex work environment, and leading to a culture of collaboration and connection. Catherine’s vision for Corporate Harmony is to bring the skill of “Positive Presence” to the corporate world as it becomes more complex, ambiguous and chaotic. Catherine is uniquely positioned to impact organizations’ productivity and long term success, with her powerful vision of eliminating bad stress from every workplace around the globe, bringing purpose into the people equation to promote healthy, productive and meaningful work cultures and turn the tide on the neglect of mental health on a global scale. Catherine is author of the book: “CORPORATE HARMONY – The Performance Link for Today’s Modern Organization” Catherine can be reached at: Catherine.Osborne@corporateharmony.ca or go to ‘contact us’ on our website www.corporateharmony.ca. Catherine is available for consultation, and can be reached by 519-695-3407.