Giving and receiving feedback is probably one of life’s greatest challenges both personally and professionally. As leaders, it is critical to continually develop our capacity for both giving and receiving feedback, both positive and negative. Most would agree that giving or receiving positive feedback is relatively simple in comparison to giving or receiving negative feedback. In reality though, negative feedback (the stuff we’re not doing or we need to do better), is essential if we are to learn and grow, and how we behave in the face of feedback is where the learning must begin.
Executive coach and author Marshall Goldsmith describes people’s usual reaction to positive and negative feedback this way. He says that we all tend to accept feedback that is compatible to what we believe to be true and reject feedback that does not match our sense of reality. This concept is akin to pattern recognition or “cognitive dissonance” – that is, our brains gravitate toward information that is known, familiar or concrete. It seems then, that how we react or behave to feedback is in part biological.
For example, if an executive receives feedback that she is a poor listener she may become defensive and deem the comment an insult. After all, she may argue, she did not rise to her current position by not paying attention to others’ needs and wants along the way. Thus, she will ignore the feedback altogether, rendering the process a waste of time and effort. This example could apply to all levels of employees in all kinds of jobs.
When we understand that cognitive dissonance is in essence a biological reaction to the way feedback is delivered to us, then we are in a much better position to deal with it. If we’re on the receiving end, it takes awareness and preparedness to keep one-self open to what is new and different. When we can do that, the feedback process is said to be constructive and effective. If we’re on the delivery end of the feedback, then we have control of the delivery and an opportunity to ensure that feedback is given with an intention to coach and inform in a positive and familiar manner that will elicit a constructive and effective result.
In today’s world of constant change and ambiguity the essence of feedback must be kept top of mind: Change begins with seeking feedback and diligently applying the lessons learned. As a result, we can move from complacency, fear, and doubt to improved behaviour, creative thought processes, mental toughness, and discipline – all of which help us to shape or re-create our lives and to make optimal life choices. Learning the skill of Positive Presence will create a mindset that connects human energy to productive and strength-building behaviour that will openly accept all feedback – positive and negative.
Feedback has often been called the “breakfast of champions.” All highly successful and peak performing individuals have a mechanism for receiving constant feedback. Most particularly, peak performers, as influential leaders, go outside of themselves for this information. Rarely are they deceived by the cognitive dissonance and distortion of their own perspective and self- analysis. If you are really looking for success at work you must find out how your behaviour is coming across to your colleagues, peers, and clients. Get their feedback, and remember getting this kind of necessary feedback is easy. Dealing with it to change and expand your leadership capacity and influence is hard. The choice is yours.
Catherine is the President and CEO of CORPORATE HARMONY, providing virtual solutions for leadership development and organizational culture change. Her leadership and coaching experience as a Project Manager in an ever-changing, fast moving technological organization with unrelenting demands drove her to the realization that a positive mindset and strength-building behaviors are essential for today’s complex and chaotic organizational systems. CORPORATE HARMONY’s virtual platform of programs, coaching and performance measurement, is an innovative online technology of tested proprietary content. The world-class content of CORPORATE HARMONY’s Positive Presence Program develops the skill of ‘Positive Presence’ and the necessary ‘Positive Presence Behaviour Competencies’ for maintaining a positive and energized mindset and increased performance in today’s complex work environment, and leading to a culture of collaboration and connection. Catherine’s vision for Corporate Harmony is to bring the skill of “Positive Presence” to the corporate world as it becomes more complex, ambiguous and chaotic. Catherine is uniquely positioned to impact organizations’ productivity and long term success, with her powerful vision of eliminating bad stress from every workplace around the globe, bringing purpose into the people equation to promote healthy, productive and meaningful work cultures and turn the tide on the neglect of mental health on a global scale. Catherine is author of the book: “CORPORATE HARMONY – The Performance Link for Today’s Modern Organization” Catherine can be reached at: Catherine.Osborne@corporateharmony.ca or go to ‘contact us’ on our website www.corporateharmony.ca. Catherine is available for consultation, and can be reached by 519-695-3407.